Yellow Jumpsuit.

The title for this blog originated from a feeling I have today. I want to put on a bright yellow jumpsuit and just lay down on a speed bump. See I would blend in with the speed bump that way and then people can RUN ME OVER. I had to be very honest yesterday with someone I really care about and I feel terrible.

The thing is, I know I did the right thing. I had peace from God and clarity about the whole situation, but that doesn't mean it was easy. I just wish we could all be on the same page all the time...like, if God tells me something He would tell you that exact thing. That is not always how it happens. I have this weird feeling today. I mean, I am proud of myself for following God - for doing what He asked of me - but I also feel awful.

Why can't I be one of those super hard-core girls who 'tells it like it is'? Granted I can be that way from time to time but for the most part I'm a total softy. I just hate to see people hurting; I hate to see them sad...and if that sadness or pain is a result of something I did? Ugh. I feel like throwing up.

I keep telling myself that God's vision is different than my daydreams. God does not always do what we want Him to do...and He doesn't do things in our time; He does things in His time. I have to rest in the fact that He knows better than me...and all I can do is trust Him.

But at least I can have the yellow jumpsuit as a back-up plan. :)