Today I woke up in my little house. I made coffee (first things first), took a shower and then sat down to read my Bible before work. And I looked at the date, and realized I am 9 DAYS away from my wedding day. In 9 days I will commit my life to my best friend. I am 100% sure this is the right thing to do. I have sought God's will in this situation. I have prayed and listened and built a relationship based on love and respect. I know this is right...and I can't wait!
But last night, as I watched Gilmore Girls & ate chocolate on my small couch covered in a pink blanket, I realized...there are things I will miss about this chapter of my life.
I have lived in this little house by myself for five years. I graduated from college 8 years ago and since then, I have learned so much about who I am. I have poured myself into camp ministry. I have learned to make a house a home using almost all secondhand furniture and decoration. I have depended on Christ heavily when I was scared at night or had $20 to last the month or when my truck wouldn't start. I have had countless sleepovers with my sisters, had cereal for dinner, and decorated everything with the color pink.
I remember a couple of years ago (before I met Stormtrooper) crying and praying that God would send me a friend. Some weeks I would work all day, and go home to an empty house, without money for gas to drive to town. I would decorate, run, watch movies and cook. I remember Saturdays where I would look up in the evening and realize that I hadn't said one word out loud all day!
But there have been so many wonderful things about this season of "post-college single hood". There are moments that I will always treasure.
My relationship with Christ became so much deeper during these years. I depended on Him fully. I talked to Him constantly. I learned so many things about being a single woman. I learned how to buy, repair and operate a lawnmower so I could handle my own yard work. I fixed my toilet. I changed air filters and hung wall collages and moved furniture over and over again to see how it worked in a space. I took hand-me-down furniture and changed it to reflect me. I learned to cook for one in old skillets and poured the food on to dollar store dishes. And I learned so much about who I am. I learned that we don't have to wait for a "right time" to serve Jesus and the people around us. I learned that if Christ is all I have...I have more than enough. I learned that if we are faithful to give even when we don't have much He will provide.
In a couple of weeks a bearded man will move into this little place with me. We will replace my tiny couch with a big leather one and my pink ruffled pillows with navy and burlap. We will watch action movies on a {much} larger TV and eat more meat and not turn on the heater as much in the winter. He will help me move heavy things and tell me everything will be ok when I hear noises at night and dance with me in the kitchen. I am incredibly grateful to have found him. I cannot wait to start our life together. I have wanted to be a wife for many years.
But I wouldn't trade this season of singleness. I am who I am because of the time that I had as an independent girl. These years have been an incredibly important part of my story, and there are things I will miss.
I just want to encourage you, if you are single, DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME. Don't live your life waiting for a spouse to come along. You have so many advantages. Use this season to pour into the people around you. Find out who you are. Draw close to Christ. Build community. I wouldn't trade the past 8 years to go back and get married at 22.
I think I will always be a bit of a wildflower. I was born with an independent spirit and I don't think that will change (bless my future husband's heart). It's just time for this wildflower to to put down some roots...next to a sweet, strong Oak tree.... :)
But last night, as I watched Gilmore Girls & ate chocolate on my small couch covered in a pink blanket, I realized...there are things I will miss about this chapter of my life.
In a couple of weeks a bearded man will move into this little place with me. We will replace my tiny couch with a big leather one and my pink ruffled pillows with navy and burlap. We will watch action movies on a {much} larger TV and eat more meat and not turn on the heater as much in the winter. He will help me move heavy things and tell me everything will be ok when I hear noises at night and dance with me in the kitchen. I am incredibly grateful to have found him. I cannot wait to start our life together. I have wanted to be a wife for many years.
But I wouldn't trade this season of singleness. I am who I am because of the time that I had as an independent girl. These years have been an incredibly important part of my story, and there are things I will miss.
I just want to encourage you, if you are single, DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME. Don't live your life waiting for a spouse to come along. You have so many advantages. Use this season to pour into the people around you. Find out who you are. Draw close to Christ. Build community. I wouldn't trade the past 8 years to go back and get married at 22.
I think I will always be a bit of a wildflower. I was born with an independent spirit and I don't think that will change (bless my future husband's heart). It's just time for this wildflower to to put down some roots...next to a sweet, strong Oak tree.... :)
