See that step right there?

The second one from the ground?

That's my step now. I recently claimed it after deciding it is one of my favorite spots. :) I've spent almost every evening there for the past week.

I have so much to do. Summer is right around the corner, which means work is getting really busy. There are fundraisers and meetings for the school board, Sunday school lessons and choir music. There are bills due and for some reason my kitchen sink won't drain. I'm busy, and honestly, a little stressed. BUT, I don't think about that while I'm sitting here...

All I can think about is the sound of the wind blowing through the trees and how the water hits the shore. How the birds fly with complete abandon. And how the God of all creation...who made all of this...who feeds the birds and turns an acorn into a tree LOVES ME. How He cares about my problems and worries...and how He will provide.

He always provides. I forget that sometimes...but He keeps reminding me...and I am so grateful that He does.

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Matthew 6:25-26 & 31-33

Home Sweet Home.

Last night I had a little bit of a traumatic experience. I live by myself, and have for over two years now. At first it was difficult, but I am a pro at this point, and it really doesn't phase me. Last night, however, I got back pretty late from a friend's house. Right around midnight, when i was halfway between being awake and asleep, I heard a VERY LOUD NOISE at my front door. It was kind of like a banging/scratching?/door knob turning? Whatever it was, it was NOT good. I was so scared. My heart was racing...what was I going to do? My brother gave me a baseball bat. What am I supposed to do with a baseball bat? I'm not even athletic. I have no motor skills. I would probably swing that thing at someone (something?) and completely miss them. But you better believe I grabbed that bat right then. Yes sir.

You should have seen me open the front door. It would have probably been hilarious to anyone besides me at the time. Here I am, in my pajamas, holding a baseball bat, my cell phone, my keys and a flashlight...shaking like a leaf...kicking the door before I open it as a scare tactic? Preventative measure? I don't know, it seemed like a good idea at the time. I threw open the door to discover.....NOTHING. But I could not get back to sleep after that experience.

So I left.

I got in my truck at 12:30am and drove 45 minutes to my parent's house. I ran away...like a four year old running into her parent's room during a thunderstorm. I just wanted so badly right then to be on the couch at my Mom and Dad's house. I wanted to be home. I have a house...and I love my little place...but there is something about home isn't there? I guess it is because I am not alone when I am there. I feel safe...probably more safe than anywhere else in the world.

As I was driving I began thinking about a video I watched the other day where a lady was talking about girls sold into sex trafficking. I felt tears sting my eyes as I thought about the fact that they don't have a home. They don't have a place where they can run and feel safe. Those girls are in REAL DANGER. They are abused, their innocence is stolen, and there is no place they can go. Beyond that, there are people around us who have no home. Not only in the literal sense but in the metaphorical sense. We are surrounded by people who have no safe haven; no place where they are loved for exactly who they are. It breaks my heart.

Right there in that moment, I praised God for my family. I thanked Him because I am blessed beyond measure; because I am fortunate enough to have a place to run; a place that is warm and full of love and where I feel completely safe and accepted. I want to be that place for others. I want people to feel like they are "home" when they are around me. I want people to know that they are loved for exactly who they are...they are safe. I want to support ministries and organizations around the world who are that place for orphans; the abused; the overlooked. I pray that I will not forget those people. I pray that God will continually bring them to my heart and mind. I pray that I will take action and not sit idly by as they suffer.

"Where we love is home. Home that our feet may leave but not our hearts." - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Life is Funny

I have become increasingly aware of the fact that my life is ridiculous sometimes. Last night I started compiling a list. You know how much I love lists! So here it is...

15 signs that you are moving from "cute independent single girl" to "old maid"

1. You consider dating someone you don't like just so they will mow your grass/take care of home repairs for you.
2. You realize that the only two boys you have kissed this year are your 8 month old nephews.
3. You learn that your ex-boyfriend's child has the same name as your fish.
4. Your family moves from politely asking, "seeing anyone new lately?" to practically begging, "well isn't there ANYONE YOU LIKE? Anyone at all?!"
5. Your guy friends (who are all in serious relationships) tell you that you are "running out of time."
6. You consider buying a cute new shirt but then remind yourself that you have nowhere to wear it and purchase running pants.
7. You have given up splitting recipes in half and then in half again to cook for one and have resorted to lean cuisine meals.
8. Your mom has begun praying that "this will be the year" and reminds you that she is praying in that direction every time she sees you.
9. You will go to extreme measures to leave a wedding before the bouquet is tossed.
10. You accidentally catch yourself talking to your plants out loud.
11. Your friends call you when they are single for once in their life and ask you "what they should do with all their free time?" and "how do you survive?"
12. You have to constantly look nice so people don't think you are depressed or have "let yourself go."
13. You stop suggesting baby names and wedding ideas to friends and family because soon there will be no baby names or wedding details left for you.
14. While taking pictures of your siblings and significant others, you family asks you if you would like to take a picture by yourself. Nope. Thank you though.
15. You have to stop yourself on multiple occasions from creating a fictional boyfriend when asked about it. Matt. He's out of town A LOT for business. He gave me this necklace. He actually moved to Russia. He was here this weekend! You just missed him. Bummer.

And yes, those are based on real life experiences. Haha...I am honestly quite okay with my place in life right now. I just thought some of these were pretty hilarious. My life is beyond awkward from time to time. I'm learning to embrace it. See the humor in it. One day I will be sitting on the couch with my favorite guy ever and he will read these and say to me, "Oh Abby. You are so funny and wonderful. I'm so lucky to have you in my life. Here is a Dr. Pepper and a house in the middle of a field of wildflowers." (Fingers crossed:)

In other news, I got an IPad recently! It was kind of a gift and I am kind of in love with it.

Oh IPad, you had me at hello...or rather, you had me at IKEA app :)