My Name is Abby...and I Love Words.

I love writing. And while I realize that I will probably never be one of those girls who is able to quit her job and support herself through writing alone, I still write. I cannot help it. Since I was about eight I have filled journals with my thoughts. When I’m stressed or worried I feel like I’ll explode if I don’t get the thoughts out of my head and on to paper. Hence, the reason I love blogs so much. I just love to organize what I’m thinking – even if it is random – and hit the “publish” button. It’s therapy for me.

All that to say, I don’t really write this blog so thousands of people will see it. I don’t expect life-changing revelations to happen when people read my ramblings. But recently, God has really used blog readers to bless my heart and encourage me. The other day my sweet friend told me that after reading my blog post about Balbina she decided to adopt a World Vision child from Mexico. This almost brought tears to my eyes! Just to know that my run on sentences and blubbering could lead someone to take action is an incredible blessing.

I also heard from a reader recently that she was going through exactly the same thing at the moment that I wrote a post. The Lord puts passion in my heart sometimes for a specific topic and I just write. The fact that these words can reach someone where they are and – if nothing else – let them know that they are not alone. It encourages me to continue sharing; to be genuine; to be transparent.

We may never know the effect we have on people. I have always had a love for words...and I pray that I would use these words to be a light; to share Christ; to comfort and encourage and let those around me know that they are not alone. I recently wrote this verse on my mirror and have been praying it throughout the day:

So often I speak or write in anger and my words do the opposite. They break down and destroy. They bring hurt. I pray that this verse would be my constant goal – in writing and in speaking – above all else.

Thank you for the encouragement sweet blog friends! Your words have blessed my heart in a huge way.

Truth for Today.

Have you checked out my profile on facebook lately? You will notice it does NOT say “In a relationship with...” at the top. It pretty much never does. Honestly, I haven’t dated much. I’ve never seen much point in dating someone that I wouldn’t consider marrying...so...I’ve been in one long relationship and a few short ones, but I have spent the large majority of the last ten years as a single girl.

Go ahead...start thinking crazy things. No I don’t keep my toenail clippings. I’m not allergic to air. I’m not looking for someone perfect. I do wear a pink wig and talk in a ghetto accent from time to time. Is that a dealbreaker for some people? Maybe it is.

:)

The point is, I’m pretty good at being single. Honestly. I’m independent. I have always done things on my own. I like to read and journal and be alone sometimes. I’m from a small town and I don’t get bored easily. When my friends are single for one stinking week they call me and say, “I JUST DON’T KNOW HOW YOU DO IT!” Haha...it makes me laugh. I’m okay everyone. I’m OKAY.

BUT, there is something about winter, and Valentine’s Day decorations, and this stage of my life. Lately I have been feeling SO EMO. I don’t want to go home to an empty house and watch TV and cook for just me. I want someone to talk to for the love. I have a wonderful family and friends and meetings and activities. But it’s different. I look back at the one long-term relationship I was in and the thing I miss above everything else is having someone care. Care about how my day was or if something funny happened at work. Care about why I was upset. Care that I have a broken garbage disposal and no one to fix it. Someone to listen to my rambling and give me their jacket when I’m cold. Someone to bring me movies and ice cream when I’m sick. I miss that so much.

I am not writing this to bash my friends and family. They are awesome and I know I’m so blessed to have them in my life. I also know that my siblings and parents and friends have their own lives...with husbands and children and classes. It’s just different. I do know that I’m loved...so very much. Not only by my people, but also by the God of the universe. And that is incredible when you stop and think about it.

I just think...sometimes...that my flesh drowns out the truth that I know in my spirit. I long for that human companionship. I want someone to tell me I’m beautiful. It’s a constant battle. On some days I feel excellent. I’m grateful and happy. And other days? Other days I want someone to take me to see that new movie and remind me to turn off the stove.

God has really spoken to me this week through this quote:

“The great thing to remember is that though our feelings come and go, God’s love for us does not.” - C.S. Lewis

I cling to that truth. And it’s enough for today.