Truth for Today.

Have you checked out my profile on facebook lately? You will notice it does NOT say “In a relationship with...” at the top. It pretty much never does. Honestly, I haven’t dated much. I’ve never seen much point in dating someone that I wouldn’t consider marrying...so...I’ve been in one long relationship and a few short ones, but I have spent the large majority of the last ten years as a single girl.

Go ahead...start thinking crazy things. No I don’t keep my toenail clippings. I’m not allergic to air. I’m not looking for someone perfect. I do wear a pink wig and talk in a ghetto accent from time to time. Is that a dealbreaker for some people? Maybe it is.

:)

The point is, I’m pretty good at being single. Honestly. I’m independent. I have always done things on my own. I like to read and journal and be alone sometimes. I’m from a small town and I don’t get bored easily. When my friends are single for one stinking week they call me and say, “I JUST DON’T KNOW HOW YOU DO IT!” Haha...it makes me laugh. I’m okay everyone. I’m OKAY.

BUT, there is something about winter, and Valentine’s Day decorations, and this stage of my life. Lately I have been feeling SO EMO. I don’t want to go home to an empty house and watch TV and cook for just me. I want someone to talk to for the love. I have a wonderful family and friends and meetings and activities. But it’s different. I look back at the one long-term relationship I was in and the thing I miss above everything else is having someone care. Care about how my day was or if something funny happened at work. Care about why I was upset. Care that I have a broken garbage disposal and no one to fix it. Someone to listen to my rambling and give me their jacket when I’m cold. Someone to bring me movies and ice cream when I’m sick. I miss that so much.

I am not writing this to bash my friends and family. They are awesome and I know I’m so blessed to have them in my life. I also know that my siblings and parents and friends have their own lives...with husbands and children and classes. It’s just different. I do know that I’m loved...so very much. Not only by my people, but also by the God of the universe. And that is incredible when you stop and think about it.

I just think...sometimes...that my flesh drowns out the truth that I know in my spirit. I long for that human companionship. I want someone to tell me I’m beautiful. It’s a constant battle. On some days I feel excellent. I’m grateful and happy. And other days? Other days I want someone to take me to see that new movie and remind me to turn off the stove.

God has really spoken to me this week through this quote:

“The great thing to remember is that though our feelings come and go, God’s love for us does not.” - C.S. Lewis

I cling to that truth. And it’s enough for today.