Birthday Reflections...

I have certain tendencies. I guess we all do. For instance, I have tendencies to want to live in the middle of the country and have no contact with outside civilization. I also have tendencies to wake up after I need to be somewhere. And I have a tendency to be depressed around my birthday, which happens to be tomorrow. I know, it’s silly. I know I’m blessed and should be happy to have another year of life etc etc etc. But I struggle with it. I have really high standards for myself and I always think that another year has passed and I still haven’t done a lot of the things I wanted to. It seems like the years are flying by now and I’m just afraid I guess. I’m afraid that I am behind. I’m afraid that I will look up and I’ll be 50 and I will still have a long list of hopes and dreams with nothing crossed off. This is compounded by the fact that I’m frustrated with a number of things in my life right now.

But I don’t want to be this way. I read books that claim to have the solution. I pray about it constantly. I wish I could let myself relax and be grateful! But I think it’s a balance. I want to have standards. I want to dream and plan. But I also want to be happy with the things I have. I want to be happy with who I am. So I have made a habit of writing down things that I’m grateful for. And looking back at this year, there are many things. There are some negatives of course. There are things right now that make me want just turn off the lights and stay in bed all day. But I’m not focusing on those things. I am focusing on the good. I have this print hanging on my wall...it’s a great reminder...and so true. It’s a choice...and I choose to be grateful.

Here are some (well actually, a lot of) snapshots from my 26th year of life.

This year I am grateful that I...

1)...learned a lot about finances. Studied the subject and decided to take responsibility for my future. Started becoming debt free by paying off a credit card.

2)...decided I had enough of tight pants and started doing a low carb diet. It’s been 3 1/2 months now and I’ve lost around 15 pounds. This may not seem like much but it’s a big victory for me! I feel better...and that is what counts. I plan to stick with it and try to lose at least 10 more pounds.

3)...saw my first nephews turn one. I have seen them go from tiny newborns to walking talking toddlers and I love them more than I thought I would (which is saying a lot!). They are a huge blessing to my life and make me laugh every single time I see them. I have also seen my sis step into the role of a mother and she does an INCREDIBLE job. She has always been an overachiever. :) She is amazing. I knew she would be.

{Grant}

{Asher}

{Sister. aka: super mom}

4) ...continued teaching the youth Sunday School class at church. This is something I stepped up and took over because no one was doing it. Sometimes it is a little frustrating, but I have been blessed to be a part of the lives of those students. I have seen them grow and have loved getting to know them better.

5)...continued serving on the school board for ACS. Christian education is something I'm passionate about, and I have loved getting to know the students. I also love being a part of voting on policies and organizing fundraisers. I think it has helped me learn a lot and hope that I have been able to help ensure that the school runs smoothly and will be around for years to come!

6)...survived another summer, with an added program camp. I feel very proud of the fact that I am responsible for registering over 3,000 students for summer camp and this year it went really smoothly. I feel like I FINALLY know what I’m doing and I have absolutely loved getting to know the students and sponsors who choose to attend here.

{2011 camp staff acting crazy}

7)...moved into a role at work that I love. A role that uses more of my natural talents. I’m so SO grateful that I am not working with finances anymore. I get to write and communicate and build relationships – three of my favorite things.

8)...saw two of my little sisters graduate: one from high school and one from college. I'm incredibly grateful for them and so proud of their accomplishments but even more than that - of their beautiful hearts.

{Sisters at Gal's graduation from college!}

{Baby sister graduated from high school!}

9)...was able to spend time with my Paw Paw before he passed away. He was my last remaining grandparent and his passing was very sad for me. But it was a wonderful celebration of his life. I’m proud to carry a piece of him with me.

10)...saw sweet friends and family reach milestones. I met four new cousins – all girls!

{Sarah + Jake = Summer <3}

{Jeanette + Skye = Skylee <3}

{Kim + Dan = Colleen <3}

{Tammara + Greet = Bethany <3}

...saw my friend Jadie become a mama again to a new little adventurer

{Jade + Nathan = Spencer <3}

...saw two engagements happen at Zephyr (Mimi & Drew...Rachel & Jacob), and two in my family:

{Trish & Justin}

{Maggie & Ryan}

...attended numerous weddings and showers (Sara & Luke, Sarah & Andrew, Aubri & Tyler)...

...and learned that I’m going to be an aunt again! Haha...calm down everyone. Glory is not pregnant. No, that would be my sweet free-und Amy. We have decided I’m going to be an honorary aunt to her new little guy (scheduled to make his appearance in January)!

I’m so grateful to be a part of each one of these magical events and to see the love and happiness present.

11)...have learned so much more about being an independent girl. I have learned how to unclog sinks and cook new dishes and keep plants alive. I have painted furniture and lined drawers and given old things new life with a little creativity and elbow grease. I have fallen in love with my little imperfect home and have found so much joy in making it a reflection of me.

12)...have learned again and again that God’s grace is sufficient for me. When I am alone, when I am scared, when I don’t know what to do or how I can do it He is there. When I am overcommitted and my strength is gone I lean on Him. When life is not fair I know that He is fair and just and righteous. I turn to Him early in the morning and in the middle of the night. I see His hand moving in my life and know that every good and perfect gift comes from Him. I choose to trust Him in the darkness and in the light because HE HAS ALWAYS BEEN FAITHFUL.

There are so many reasons to be happy; so many reasons that this has been a wonderful year.

So here’s to being another year older...I guess....

“Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.” - Larry Lorenzoni :)