Nothing Good About Goodbye.

I hate goodbyes...as mentioned in this post. I get really weird about them. I tear up and never say what I want to. I'm much better at writing than I am at talking. Today I said goodbye to some of my dearest friends...I mumbled something about staying in touch...but here is what I really wanted to say:

I decided right away that I wasn't going to like this guy. He walked into the office one day...a lanky, country man with his tiny pregnant wife and their small daughter. He started teasing me immediately - because I apparently gave them bad driving directions over the phone. Who would have thought that five and half years later I would be sitting in my truck, crying my eyes out because these same people were moving away?

I always think of our lives as stories. It's something I've done since I was a little girl. Today I'm sad...and I'm a little bitter...but I'm mostly just incredibly grateful that God wrote this family in as characters in my story.

God knew better than I did. He knew that I needed BJ & Farica in my life. He knew that I would need two people to love me when I didn't deserve it and cook me dinner and listen to me rant without judgement when things weren't going my way. Farica taught me to cook enchiladas and to say no when I wanted to say yes and that being a good wife and mom is more important than having a career. She brought me medicine when I was sick and didn't believe I was fine - even when I said I was.

BJ fixed my truck without me asking and came over on his night off to help me put Ikea furniture together and even when he teases me and makes me angry I love sharing life with him. He is the big brother I always wanted and never had.

I have seen two of their three girls come into this world and have watched them grow from tiny babies to little girls - with big hearts and contagious smiles. I have sang Taylor Swift in the car and painted nails and braided hair and danced to the chipmunks song and let them stay up later than they should because I wanted to spend time with them.

Selfishly, I want them to be my neighbors forever. I want to help Bella pick out a prom dress and see how BJ actually responds when a boy asks one of his daughters on a date. I want to see them at lunch every day and go to their Christmas plays and piano recitals.

But once again, God knows better than I do. He knows that it is time for the next step. He knows that there is probably another lonely girl somewhere in Arizona that needs a family to love her and teach her more about Him (even though I'm sure she will not be as cool as I am). I will miss this family so much! But I will not allow my sadness to overshadow the fact that I have been incredibly blessed by their presence in my life. I am better for knowing them and will always be grateful that God chose to write them into my story.

Set Your Heart at Rest

My dear sweet friend Lindsay (second from the left in the picture below - isn't she precious?) put this verse up the other day and it prompted me to read through 1 John 3 this morning.

"...we set our hearts at rest in His presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and He knows everything." - 1 John 3:19b-20

Notice it does does not say if our hearts condemn us...it says whenever. I see this so often in my life and especially in my pursuit of a godly relationship. I spend so much time thinking about whoever my current "husband candidate" is...wondering about him and what he thinks about me.

My heart condemns me.

I convince myself that I will not be happy without him - or that I will never be enough for any man if I am not enough for him.

But praise God I can set my heart at rest in HIS presence.

I'm so grateful that He is greater than my silly, emotional heart.

I'm so grateful that I can step back and hear Him whisper, "you are enough."

"No man will love you like I love you."

"My grace is sufficient in your weakness."

The truth is, our hearts are going to condemn us. We are flawed, imperfect creatures.

When you feel irrational and emotional take a moment to speak truth over the lies that are filling your mind and heart. Rest in His presence. Praise Him for being greater than our hearts.

That's some truth I needed to hear today.

Too Comfortable.

I have lived by myself for a while now…and I'm pretty independent (hence the blog title). There are quite a few advantages to living alone. There really are! I have gotten used to being the only person at my place and sometimes I think I may be TOO comfortable. Do you know what I mean? Here are some examples:

1. Sometimes I talk to Jesus out loud…while I'm washing dishes or driving. I have to stop myself from talking to Him out loud at Wal-mart or work. Crazy lady. Aisle four.
2. Quite frequently I walk around my house partially dressed. I mean, it's true. It just happens. The other day someone knocked on my front door and I seriously forgot and almost answered it with my shirt off. Yikes. We've got to get that under control.
3. I never close my bathroom door. We can all understand why this is a problem in other places.
4. I have insomnia…and sometimes I wake up randomly in the middle of the night. I used to toss and turn and fight it and try to go back to sleep but at this point I just get up. I watch a movie…bake a cake…clean something. It's really creepy. I feel like my future husband/roommate would just be so confused if they came in the living room at 3am and saw me eating cereal and watching Gilmore Girls.
5. I sing. Really really loud. There is also dancing involved. It's serious. I mean, Mary J Blige is just something that you've really got to belt at the top of your lungs. I don't know if everyone would appreciate these performances.
6. Sometimes I leave dishes in my sink for days. That's awful isn't it? It's awful. I just hate to wash them. I put some soap and hot water in them and claim their "soaking." They're not. We all know they're not.
7. I eat really weird meals sometimes. I'm a lot like a teenage boy living alone in that department. Breakfast for dinner? Yes! Sugar free chocolate candies in place of lunch? Okay.
8. Most of the time when I try to do workout DVDs I end up laying on the floor and watching the people on the DVD work out. I just can't make it and no one can see me. No judgement.
9. I yell sometimes. At people on TV. At bugs I find. At the sink when it won't drain properly or the A/C when it makes a weird noise. I know they don't hear me. I know this. But I yell at them like they are people.

Just consider this a warning for the next person that lives with me. I'm sorry in advance.

Goodbye.

I have always hated goodbyes. I avoid them. I leave without hugging and crying and making it worse. I think it's too much pressure - trying to tie up years of memories and thoughts into a couple of lame, farewell statements.

"It's been so good to know you."
"You will be great no matter where you go."
"Etc...etc...etc...."

Nothing I say in those few sentences can really say what I want to say.

I want to stop you and say, "don't go. Just stay here. Don't make everything different. Don't force me to change; to move on; to invest in new relationships; to find someone to fill the gap you are leaving."

My life and the lives of people around me have been filled with goodbyes recently - farewells to people moving across the country and farewells to people moving from Earth into eternity. And it's difficult. It's difficult to watch. It's difficult to experience.

I long for the day when there are no more goodbyes. No more tears. No more pain.

But that day is not today.

So I will trust that God is faithful. I will remember that His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. I will smile through the tears and be grateful for the time I had with them.

I will say goodbye.

Truth for Today

I love my father. If you met me in real life (I'm 5'10") and I told you my dad's name was Rocky & that he worked in the oilfield his whole life and had a tattoo on his bicep of fighting roosters, you would think of a huge, scary guy. But he's absolutely a marshmallow. Haha. He is the father of five girls and we know that he is secretly a softie. All that to say, he writes me letters/poems sometimes. A couple of years ago on my birthday he wrote me a poem. At the end of it he wrote the Scripture that says God is "jealous" for His people. He said that maybe God has not given me a husband yet because He wants more time with me.

I was thinking about that this morning when I heard the David Crowder song "How He Loves" on the radio. The first line of that song says: "He is jealous for me, Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree, bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy." It reminded me of the poem my dad wrote those years ago. I needed that reminder. Jesus wants our attention. He wants our heart…and not just a portion of it…the whole thing. He wants all of us. Exodus 20:5 says "I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God who will not tolerate your affection for other gods."

This time as a single girl is a gift. Let's get real: when I am a wife and a mom I will not always be able to wake up early and read Scripture in the quiet and talk to Jesus on road trips. Sometimes I am afraid that my desire for a husband and children has become a god in my life. I spend so much time thinking and planning for that time. God is a jealous God, and my heart needs to belong to Him - completely. I don't want to give Him just a part of who I am.

Just some truth I needed to hear today...

America! What Are You Thinking?!

As I was getting ready for work the other day I was watching music videos on TV. The number one song, voted in by America, was SO RIDICULOUS. Seriously. I literally said these words out loud: "America! What are you thinking?!" Other things in today's world that just really confuse me:

1. The "paranormal teen romance" section at Barnes & Noble. Do these books need an entire section now? Vampires aren't real ladies. You cannot date one.
2. The fact that the Kardashians were named the most interesting people of 2011. It's just so hard for me to remember how they became famous. 
3. Pajama jeans. Ladies used to wear corsets and now we can't even wear something with a button and zipper? Don't try to use those pockets gals…they are not real.
4. Lady Gaga's outfits. I know the neighborhood dogs were probably excited about that meat dress…but it's just too much.
5. The fact that Toby Keith's song "Red Solo Cup" is popular. I heard a holiday edition at Christmas. Gasp! I did. I really did. 
6. All those dresses at the mall that could be shirts. Am I supposed to wear jeans with this? Or is it literally made to be worn on it's own? I mean…I'm unusually tall but still….
7. The "50 Shades of Gray" pandemonium. This lady is not even a good writer! But every woman in America is like "this book is awesome! It's so scandalous...I love to read it while my kids are taking naps!" Wait…what?

It's a strange strange world…

Anything you would add to this list?

La Bella Vita

As a Christian, Heaven is the thing that I am most looking forward to. I can't wait to be with my Jesus forever….in a perfect place…praising His name without guilt and shame and sin.

But if Heaven was what everything was about wouldn't He just take us there without allowing us to live on Earth at all? 

He didn't do that. He gave us life. Life on Earth in imperfect human bodies. And I know that it can break your heart. I have days filled with anger and ungratefulness and disappointment. 

But honestly? I love life. Yes, I'm naive. Yes I get really pumped about flowers and notice the way people laugh. I stand in the rain sometimes. I cry at weddings. I'm a big daydreaming sap. But it's true. I don't care what you say. I believe life to be beautiful. Amidst all the pain and suffering I believe God has a purpose. Not just for you and me but for the homeless man on the corner and the jerk at your office and the person who hurt you and didn't apologize. Otherwise He would have just taken us to Heaven and skipped life on Earth all together. 

But He didn't. 

He put us here for a reason and even in the hard times I choose to trust Him. I choose to see the beauty in the everyday. I choose to love when I want to hate and extend grace when I want to be selfish. 

I need to be reminded of this on days like today...

Overwhelmed

I started listening to the podcast from Brook HIlls Church in Birmingham, AL. David Platt (author of the book "Radical") is the pastor there. First of all, I'm in love with this guy. He is wonderful. I love his heart for adoption and his sweet family and the way that he speaks the truth of God's Word without apology. He's passionate and inspiring.

But that's a sidenote. The point is, I've been listening to these podcasts for most of the day at work…when I get in my truck…on my iPod while I'm cooking dinner and folding clothes. They are wonderful and speak to my heart.

HOWEVER, I have so many thoughts and ideas spinning around in my head right now and I'm beginning to get overwhelmed. I want to adopt children. I want to make a difference in the fight against abortion. I want to embrace what it means to be a woman of God. I want to be more submissive. I want to study the Old Testament more. I want to stop taking Scripture verses out of context. Combine this with what I'm reading in Philippians and I want to be content with where God has me. I want to live like He is enough. I want to love like Paul loved the churches he mentored. I want to be willing to follow Christ no matter the cost. i want to run the race well.

Whew. 

Maybe I should limit myself to one podcast a week? :)

I need some time to focus my heart and stop my mind from racing. I need to journal and think. Sometimes I get overwhelmed and feel that there is no way I can do everything I want to do.

I saw this quote recently:

…and it has helped to calm my spirit. I don't have to do everything. I just need to be faithful in what God has put before me and follow Him. When I become completely overwhelmed by the darkness I become useless, and that doesn't help anyone.

I was so grateful for a couple of days off this weekend to reflect on Christ's sacrifice and the fact that I serve a RISEN SAVIOR. He is my hope, and the reason I live. Easter weekend was lovely. Cute nephews in Easter outfits, large amounts of chocolate and time with my mama always equals a good time in my book. I hope you were able to slow down and reflect on the true meaning of this celebration. We have a LIVING hope...and I'm so grateful.

Where I'm From

I’m from the south. From please and thank you and yes ma’am.

I’m from late nights in soft pews. From Christmas specials and long sermons. From church dresses.

I’m from sunshine and climbing trees. From long hot days with cousins and sisters and popsicles.

I’m from brush and mesquite and thorns and cactus. From beauty.

I’m from fajitas and fruit cups with chile. From pinatas and “que chulo.”

I’m from hard-working dads and independent moms; from being rich, but having little money.

I’m from mashed potatoes and sweet tea. From homemade birthday cakes.

I’m from tickle fights and real fights. From sharing rooms and sharing clothes. From only three channels.

I’m from palettes on the living room floor. From late night giggles. From “I love you” before you fall asleep.

I’m from plucking chickens. From homemade ice cream and fresh tomatoes.

I’m from the oilfield. From men in coveralls that smell like diesel. From dirty hands and v-neck tans.

I’m from Narnia. From Sweet Valley. From daydreams and stories that took me to far off places.

I’m from plaid skirts and skinned knees on the playground. From jump roping contests and a school that was a family.

I’m from laughter and tears. From happiness and pain. From hello and goodbye.

I’m from redemption. From grace. From the God of the universe who chooses to love me. From the perfect Author of my story.


And you? Where are you from friend?

I Love Old People.

I really do. Last week was Senior Adult camp and we had close to 100 senior adults here Monday through Thursday. The guys at work have often said that if you are over 65 and you can’t get along with me, there is something wrong with you. Haha! For some reason I just get along really well with the elderly. I’ve always been a bit of an “old soul” and my insatiable love for story makes sitting around talking to them easy and interesting. 

Since I was a child I have daydreamed in stories. I wrote fictional tales in my head about people I saw at hotels or walmart or convenient stores. This is why I am fascinated with documentaries and biographies and reality shows (ie: Hoarders/Intervention/etc). I just LOVE real life stories. I love hearing about how these people fell in love and fought in wars and worked through pain. And do you know what I have realized?

There is nothing they want more than to tell you their story.

This statement brings tears to my eyes. It’s so very true. These sweet people want nothing more than to be HEARD and REMEMBERED. They are blunt sometimes, yes. They are grouchy and old-fashioned from time to time. But, you cannot go wrong by asking them about their life and listening with intention. They light up when they talk about their daughter, and how she is just as hard headed now as she was when she was born. They teared up talking to me about how their grandson died of cancer; how they never walked the same after fighting in World War II; how their wife gets prettier every day. They laughed as they told me that their first home cost $750.

I’m incredibly grateful for them and what they teach me about life and about myself. I hope one day, when I am old and wrinkled, there will be someone that will want to hear what I have to say. I hope people will not just disrespect me and see me as a useless member of society. I hope they will remember that I was once their age, and that I have wisdom to share. I have a friend who once told me about a time when he was visiting a lady in the nursing home. Before he left she told him, “please don’t let my church forget about me.” That really stuck with me. Don’t forget about them. They are here, and they have so much to give.

Take some time to sit down with your grandparents if you are blessed to have them here, or find an “adopted grandparent” (I have a couple of those:) and ask them some questions. One of my biggest regrets is that I didn't take the time to write down my grandparent's stories before they passed away. I always wanted to and never took the time. Ask them what they learned from being married for 60 years. Ask them what countries they have been to. Ask them what they wish they knew when they were your age. And then listen. Genuinely listen. You won’t be sorry. 

Family Matters.

I love my family A LOT. To some people it’s a little overboard I’m sure. I think they are the best. They are always there for me. They love me without fail. They make me laugh hysterically and encourage me and lift me up in prayer. Of course we argue, OFTEN, but I don’t know what I would do without them. I guess, because of this, I think that everyone in the world is as attached to their family as I am to mine. I get excited when people talk about their brothers. I ask them a million weird questions like, “what is your mom’s name?” or “Do you get along with your sister?” It’s strange. I know. I just absolutely adore the fact that these two people meet each other, fall in love and have children that are a mix of them. I love that bubbas and sisters grow up together...sleeping on the living room floor and climbing trees and putting on ridiculous skits. No one knows you like your family does. The Webbs have way too many inside jokes. I am entirely too protective of my little sibs. We are the same and different and no one understands me like them.

I guess this is why...lately...I have been frustrated with girls who marry guys and shut their family out. I realize that you may not get along with his mom. I realize that his parents might be strange and white trash and blunt. BUT, these are the people who raised your husband – the man you love more than any other man. Regardless of what you think, he is a mix of their genes, and much of how he looks at the world can be contributed to these people. His sisters are the ones who helped him bury his childhood pet and sat on his bed with him when his high school girlfriend broke his heart. His brother is the one who taught him to drive and sat in a deer blind with him in the early morning light talking about life. 

I know this relates to husbands too. I know they should take time to know and communicate with their wife’s family. But, let’s be honest, girls are going to stay in touch with their families for the most part. And guys just don’t. They will forget birthdays and miss Christmas dinners and move away without thinking twice. As a wife I feel like you should make an effort to know his family. Let your children meet and know their father’s parents. If you love this man as you say you do, then you should love his family – imperfections and all. 

I know I am single and I don’t understand what it means to be a wife and mom. I also know that families are different – and there are sometimes real, deep issues. I just feel like this is important – and makes sense. Your children will be a mix of you and their dad. That means half of their genes come from this man. They need to know their grandparents; learn family recipes from them; hear stories about their dad when he was growing up. It’s not fair to only allow them to know only half of where they came from. And put yourself in the shoes of your husband/fiance/boyfriend’s mama for a minute. This sweet boy...who she carried with her and held while he cried...has chosen to leave her and take another woman as his caregiver. This can’t be easy for her. The least you can do is remember her birthday and take some time to cook with her and hear about her love story. The least you can do is try to respect his father. Get to know him. Stand outside by the BBQ pit and ask him about work while he cooks. These people raised the man of your dreams. It’s the LEAST you can do.

And yes okay? These pictures do make me cry. I’m telling you. I’ve got love for families. Also...sidenote: Scripture tells us that our love for Christ should be so great that it should make family love look like HATE. Incredible.

My Name is Abby...and I Love Words.

I love writing. And while I realize that I will probably never be one of those girls who is able to quit her job and support herself through writing alone, I still write. I cannot help it. Since I was about eight I have filled journals with my thoughts. When I’m stressed or worried I feel like I’ll explode if I don’t get the thoughts out of my head and on to paper. Hence, the reason I love blogs so much. I just love to organize what I’m thinking – even if it is random – and hit the “publish” button. It’s therapy for me.

All that to say, I don’t really write this blog so thousands of people will see it. I don’t expect life-changing revelations to happen when people read my ramblings. But recently, God has really used blog readers to bless my heart and encourage me. The other day my sweet friend told me that after reading my blog post about Balbina she decided to adopt a World Vision child from Mexico. This almost brought tears to my eyes! Just to know that my run on sentences and blubbering could lead someone to take action is an incredible blessing.

I also heard from a reader recently that she was going through exactly the same thing at the moment that I wrote a post. The Lord puts passion in my heart sometimes for a specific topic and I just write. The fact that these words can reach someone where they are and – if nothing else – let them know that they are not alone. It encourages me to continue sharing; to be genuine; to be transparent.

We may never know the effect we have on people. I have always had a love for words...and I pray that I would use these words to be a light; to share Christ; to comfort and encourage and let those around me know that they are not alone. I recently wrote this verse on my mirror and have been praying it throughout the day:

So often I speak or write in anger and my words do the opposite. They break down and destroy. They bring hurt. I pray that this verse would be my constant goal – in writing and in speaking – above all else.

Thank you for the encouragement sweet blog friends! Your words have blessed my heart in a huge way.

Truth for Today.

Have you checked out my profile on facebook lately? You will notice it does NOT say “In a relationship with...” at the top. It pretty much never does. Honestly, I haven’t dated much. I’ve never seen much point in dating someone that I wouldn’t consider marrying...so...I’ve been in one long relationship and a few short ones, but I have spent the large majority of the last ten years as a single girl.

Go ahead...start thinking crazy things. No I don’t keep my toenail clippings. I’m not allergic to air. I’m not looking for someone perfect. I do wear a pink wig and talk in a ghetto accent from time to time. Is that a dealbreaker for some people? Maybe it is.

:)

The point is, I’m pretty good at being single. Honestly. I’m independent. I have always done things on my own. I like to read and journal and be alone sometimes. I’m from a small town and I don’t get bored easily. When my friends are single for one stinking week they call me and say, “I JUST DON’T KNOW HOW YOU DO IT!” Haha...it makes me laugh. I’m okay everyone. I’m OKAY.

BUT, there is something about winter, and Valentine’s Day decorations, and this stage of my life. Lately I have been feeling SO EMO. I don’t want to go home to an empty house and watch TV and cook for just me. I want someone to talk to for the love. I have a wonderful family and friends and meetings and activities. But it’s different. I look back at the one long-term relationship I was in and the thing I miss above everything else is having someone care. Care about how my day was or if something funny happened at work. Care about why I was upset. Care that I have a broken garbage disposal and no one to fix it. Someone to listen to my rambling and give me their jacket when I’m cold. Someone to bring me movies and ice cream when I’m sick. I miss that so much.

I am not writing this to bash my friends and family. They are awesome and I know I’m so blessed to have them in my life. I also know that my siblings and parents and friends have their own lives...with husbands and children and classes. It’s just different. I do know that I’m loved...so very much. Not only by my people, but also by the God of the universe. And that is incredible when you stop and think about it.

I just think...sometimes...that my flesh drowns out the truth that I know in my spirit. I long for that human companionship. I want someone to tell me I’m beautiful. It’s a constant battle. On some days I feel excellent. I’m grateful and happy. And other days? Other days I want someone to take me to see that new movie and remind me to turn off the stove.

God has really spoken to me this week through this quote:

“The great thing to remember is that though our feelings come and go, God’s love for us does not.” - C.S. Lewis

I cling to that truth. And it’s enough for today.

True Followers

For the past few days my heart has been....I don’t know the word...heavy?

I go to sleep and wake up with a desperation inside. I want to scream at the top of my lungs. I want starving children to have food to eat. I want people to know that they are loved and that their life has purpose. I want to stop being selfish and live sacrificially. I want to stop making excuses and procrastinating and ignoring the truth.

I see things and hear things and read things that make me want to cry and adopt 20 children and sell everything I own and give the money away. Scripture tells us that, as true disciples of Christ, we are to be people who are moved with compassion. We are not supposed to see people as strange or worthless. We are to see them as people that Christ values. He loves them and has a purpose for their life. How can we call ourselves disciples of Christ and allow people to DIE OF STARVATION while we spend ridiculous amounts of money on coffee and designer bags? It doesn’t make sense.

I think we get busy. I think we don’t make it a priority. I think that we are calloused and selfish and just unaware.

I wish I could say that I always lived my life in this mindset... that the abused and overlooked came to my mind more often than they do. I wish I spent my time and resources to make an impact on the lives of these people. I try. I make effort and give when I think about it or when it is convenient.

But, I want to LIVE MY LIFE sacrificially. I don’t want it to be a random occurrence. I want everything I do to be driven by this purpose. Am I living as a disciple of Christ? Am I looking at the people around me (and across the world) as He would have me see them? Or am I viewing them through my limited, tainted, human eyes?

Lord help us. Help us see people the way you see them. Help us become true followers of Christ. Help us make a change and not sit idly by while thousands of people perish without you.

“It is a poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish.” - Mother Theresa

Y'all. This Just Got Real.

I was talking recently to a friend of mine and we discovered that we both happened to follow the blog of a somewhat mutual acquaintance. This blog author seems to have it all together...both online and in real life! We started talking about how it seems impossible for that many things in your life to go right. Perhaps she just doesn’t write/talk about the bad times? Because there must be some. There must be something she struggles with; something that is difficult for her. I find myself depressed almost immediately after reading her blog posts.

If you are reading this and you are a blogger, can we just make a pact right now? Can we agree to be REAL?! I don’t think people (like me) need any more pressure to be perfect. I beat myself up often enough and when I read things like this it makes me more upset. Why didn’t I make more Christmas crafts? Why can’t I find the perfect husband? Why do my dinners always burn? This is just a plea...and maybe it’s selfish. But I’m ready to hear from real ladies. I’m ready to hear that other people try to make a wreath and end up with glue gun burns and a weird, non-symmetrical round piece of junk that they are embarrassed to hang on their doors. I’m ready to hear that I’m not the only one who makes cupcakes that look like this now and then:

I promise to be real on this blog. And I don’t know if you care. But I do. I want you to know that I have days where I feel HUGE and none of my pants fit. You are not the only one. Sometimes it’s really good for me to remember that. I’m not the only one. Every now and then I do a dang good job on things, but more often than not things don’t go like I planned. And honestly, I’ve learned more from my mishaps and failures than I have from my successes.

The grass in my yard is up to my knees right now. I use a hammer to turn on my dryer because it’s broken and I had cereal for dinner last night. It’s called life. And it doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful.

After I wrote this post I saw that The Nester (whom I LOVE) recently addressed a similar topic! Check it:

http://www.thenester.com/2012/01/authenticity-blogging.html

Hello 2012!

It’s New Years y’all!!!!

Can you believe it?? 2012. I always make New Year’s Eve a HUGE event in my mind. I picture myself in a fully sequined glitter gown toasting and ringing in the New Year at a beautiful party. Reality: I’m on the couch at my sisters, scrambling to find a champagne flute in the cabinet to fill with sparkling cider while my brother almost lights himself on fire with bottle rockets in the backyard. Nonetheless, I’m grateful for another year and happy to have a wonderful family to spend it with.

So I bet you don’t have to guess what’s coming next...RESOLUTIONS! I have made a list of “goals” every year since I was about 12. They come from my bucket list. I tape it to the inside of my planner, and I try to make them attainable. Usually by the end of the year I accomplish most of the things on my list. I guess that is a benefit to being realistic when I make them. I try not to be too dramatic (ie: LOSE 100 POUNDS!)

So without further ado...here they are...Abby’s 2012 Resolutions:

• Continue my diet plan and lose about 10 more pounds (running total: 21 pounds lost since June!)
• Continue working on my cooking. Buy a good cookbook and cook everything in it. Learn to make Aunt Tinker’s rolls.
• Run in a marathon of some kind (Beach to Bay – May 19th). This means I will need to get back on my running schedule. I’ve been slacking.
• Continue working on being debt free (update: both credit cards are GONE and cut up; truck should be paid off in April. Yay!)
• Get Braces (yep, I’m going to be adult braces girl. In other news, I’m allergic to cats. This is good because I can’t become a cat lady. This is bad because I’m going to have braces AND allergies. Attractive, I know.)
• Start saving for retirement (after truck is paid off)
• Own a great camera
• Hike up a mountain/visit Yellowstone National Park (hoping to accomplish both of these while visiting my sister and bro-in-law in Utah!)
• Spend more time with Jesus. Focus on reading a specific chapter of the Bible for a few weeks at a time. Learn more Scripture rather than just reading it!
  

Just a few little things. Maybe I will add to it as the year goes, we will see. I basically put these on my blog to keep me accountable, so if you don’t see me running in Beach to Bay leave me a comment in all caps talking about how ashamed you are. You are responsible for my destiny. Hahaha...too dramatic? Maybe. But I think it helps to list these and put them out in cyberspace. It helps me feel motivated at the very least. That counts for something doesn’t it?